TOMORROW'S THE DAY WHEN THE RESULTS ARE RELEASED! 28/2

Just have to wait for another 24 hrs or less and i will know what did i get! Scared Scared Scared..

I Pray.. I Pray that as each day gets nearer..God will give me calmness in my heart! I was thinking that on friday night(if the results comes out then) .. what will i be telling my relatives who will be calling? An A1 A2 B3? Oh No!! I can't get this off my head.. What if everyone gets an A1 and i, a A2? NOOOOOOO... What if everyone goes out to celebrate and i sobbing at home? HELP!! I don't know how i will react when i get back my results.. I know i will sure see tears that day but i hope it's tears of joy instead of.. of... of... of...

Mac after chem test today with zhiwei at serangoon gardens.. walked under the sorching sun for like 15 mins and was perspiring like mad! Was so shiok when we entered Mac! Saw this group of Australian International School guys and they were rather cute.. i like one of them and zhiwei like the other one.. haha! After that we walked to pet's resource centre to buy my hamster's food.. I simply love this shop. I will go there whenever i'm free and will introduce people there too. It's somesort a grooming shop cum vet cum pet store la.. has everything under the sun for pets.. there's this black dog there that is super tame but i still dare not touch it.. i scared that it will bite my hand..haha! Then right, there was this puppy that's super super cute! I was like waving and touching it through the window frame! Too bad la, my mum doesnt like the idea of having a dog.. If not i would have gotten one long ago!

Went to watch thunderstorm yesterday, went to meet Cairong, Huiyun, Junli, Sheryl at the opposite cherry hill bus stop, they say i dress like i was going to attend Star Awards. then started singing the song.so lame. was laughing like mad.But that's a nice comment. GEEs. We were rather scared that we were late la .cox of some miscommunication. Oh ya, and Zhiwei was so shocked with my dressing that she was like i PEI FU you ah. Haha, so funny!

Think the show was rather boring la. Or rather, i don't know how to appreciate this kind of stuffs.A one minute speech they can drag for like 10 minutes. Dozed off a few times and woke up finding them still on the same scence.Haha! But i must admit that their voices are strong and good. loud too! Zhiwei's parents fetched me home after that with her tired brother in the car.Ended up at Chomp Chomp opposite food centre to eat supper cox she was hungry. i was a bit hingry too la! Then her parents odered for me a big cup of cane sugar that got me so bloated up.. then ate carrot cake and LA LA too. nice la. Thanx auntie uncle.And thanx to best friend zhiwei. haha!

I read Tan's blog and i think she has got such a sweet sixteen birthday. I think i won't ever get such a nice birthday celebration! It's so fun. But anw, who doesn't want such a surprising birthday. Hai, nvm la. Still got my family to celebrate for me! I'm scared. A few more days and the results will be released! No, help me. pressure lands on me once again.

I think i am a very possesive person and has a very weird character leh.. if i have a very good friend or something and she's like one od my very close pal , i will like be jealous or something when she like gets very very close wih another person but i am trying very hard to change my this character. And then i will also want that person to assure me that she also treats me as her best friend or something one leh. Even my sisters and parents says so.. why when i am very close to one person i treat her very nice and can buy her lots of expensive stufss but when i am not close to that person anymore(usually is my problem cox the other party got close to another person), i will like treat that person as a stranger or anything and don't mention about that person anymore.. I know this is a very bad thing and i am trying very hard to get rid of this and i am succeeding .. cox i am more open now. And so i have very little little friendship problems now.

I hope it won't surface anymore and over here.. i sincerely apologise to anyone whom i have said any bad things about .. YINGZI IS VERY SORRY!

It's sort of confirmed that the O's are going to be released like soon. And it's very soon, like next week! I am already feeling the fear and stress now. I rather go take the exam over and over again rather than take back results! I really want my A1.. an A2 or below to me is considered as fail! I really cannot take it anymore, this is really very important to me! I cannot afford to get even an A2.. But i really tried my best.. really! I wrote the best essays i ever wrote and studied rather hard for all the words, though i know my sentence is like one wrong already, then the 4 choose 1 one 1 wrong already.. but this is already bad enough already.. this will make a difference between an A1 and A2.. I have a heavy stone in my heart now.. Help, i really need strength now!

-May God grant me strength-

I'm getting very frustrated.. Tournament is starting tomorrow! NO.. i have a bad feeling about all this! Got to leave class early tmr and have to miss E maths quiz and Physics test. NO, i don't want to take it alone at the science lab.. i want to take it with the class.. i DREAD all this.. ARGH!

Should be going out later to get some Valentine's gift and i have already prepared a special gift for sylvia and xiaoyan.. haha! I really hope that tmr will pass very soon.. i really can't take it anymore.. i hope that i won't break down in front of all the rest of the people.. cox i have to be strong..

I just realised that the results of the Chinese O's are coming out soon.. i'm really very worried.. stressed to the limits.. I have to get my As.. it's very important to me! But what if i don't get it.. I really can't imagine what i would do.. *cry in the toilet* i think after i get back my results. Or remain in a solemn mood forever.. HELP! I'm sure everyone will get their As and *yingzi* is the only one who will not get it..

Got back Chemistry test on friday and what i would say is that it was disasterous.. FAILED! Think i was one of the few who failed.. So many people passed it.. All of them have got 20 and above and i've got like 15.5! What's this .. I am feeling very down.. but maybe it's because i didn't even study hard for it.. I just merely browse through the book.. finished studying in 10 mins then i went to sleep.. i mean this is what the results shows.. If you didnt study you fail..

BUT... BUT.. there are just so many fakers around... next is a extract from them " NO! I have not finished studying .. i sure fail one! " Fakers around.. pls don't say this in front of me.. i will start scolding you i tell you.. Who will not study hard for a test??? You name me if you can .. and i will gladly apologise for what i am saying now..

However there are really people around who really didnt study and could too score well for theirs test because these people are really smart people.. they can remember what they have learnt.. but they are so rare.. or rather 1 in a 1000...

Alright.. i'm getting so worked up here.. maybe because TT is really driving me crazy.. plus the chem results really added on to my solemn mood.. HELP!! I need to de-stres... AND and.. i have found a method to de-stress... playing Mahjong.. haha! Go try it if you have the chance .. it's really nice. !! Haha..

I will not be influenced by people around me anymore.. i will not listen to their fake words.. i will start studying hard for all upcoming tests and score well.. I will not play anymore.. other then reserving the weekends for my mahjong session... *yingzi* begans her new life from this moment.. haha! I will make it into AJ.. If i can get any better results. i will go VJ... haha!

WoOhoO! I am getting happier as each day passes.. trying very hard to forget about that matter that has caused so much misery in me! *yingzi* has become stronger..

I want to assure yan here that she will always be one of my best pals.. other then sylvia and zhiwei! If i did anything in the past like talking bad about you or anything else.. i say sorry to the three of you here! The three of you are very significant in my life and i do not wish to lose you all! ( oh no.. getting so mushy)

New Year was great .. went to grandma's house(mother's side) and met up with my auntie(who is only 19+) so weird.. haha! But as usual, we locked ourselves in one of the rooms and talk .. i realised something.. she watched TRIUMPH IN THE SKIES too and SHE LIKES DANIEL WU too! haha.. finally found someone who shares the same interest as me.. YEH!

Tournament starts on Valentine's day and the non players.. that include *First Reserve* will have to leave class early at like 12 and help set tables and get ready the adminstrative stuffs.. Will have to be free labour again .. while the players go have their lunch ! I really hate all this.. Hai! *stops myself from complaining again*

Monday 7/2 will be marked in my life forever.. Never will i forget it! The players for the tournament were announced today! *yingzi*'s not playing .. she is a FIRST RESERVE! Alright, first reserve i am ! Trying very hard to accept this fact. If i say i am not sad that's definately not true.

I was given hope and now it was smashed in just a matter of a few minutes when the names were announced.. Is it my fault that i am not playing? Or because of others? Here i am unable to accept the fact and feeling super sad.. I don't want be some table manager ever again.

I want to be useful and play.. I am not looking forward to trainings anymore.. This is the first time i am looking forward to O's .. So that i won't need to go for trainings anymore.. *yingzi* must stay strong and survive throgh this.. [ I will survive] ..